beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah





The newest in style: make people ask what the hell is around your neck!













season seven  >   him


quotes from him


I think this episode is a great example of why it's good to be spoiled. Going into it, I knew it would make no sense, that it was a throw-away lighthearted romp, and I knew the reason Dawn was going to push that boy down the stairs. I was prepared. I had no expectations. I put away my bitterness. And so, I had a great time watching the episode. Judging from the reaction I've seen online, the unspoiled went into this episode differently than I did, and became more and more bitter as the hour went on. So the lesson, I think, is simple. Come to the dark side! Embrace the spoilers! It will ease your pain! [SP's right, folks. I would have probably thrown something heavy at the TV if I hadn't known about Willow trying to turn RJ into a girl. I got all that outrage out beforehand, see, and decided the way it played out wasn't nearly as bad as it could've been. This is what I've been saying all along--read the spoilers, imagine them playing out horrifically in your head, get all that righteous indignation out, then enjoy the show! And to think, I was considering giving up spoilers. Learned my lesson this week, I did. -ST]


But now on to the important stuff. Every year, it seems like the costume designer has to have a thing. Cynthia was a master at this, and it looks like her successor is doing what she can to keep up the tradition. First and second seasons, it was those incomprehensible neck scarves. Perhaps they were washed in a garlic water solution and kept the necks protected from vampire suckage. [Perhaps Cynthia mistakenly thought the show was set in France.] Or, in Buffy's case, they were to hide the fact that she kinda liked getting a little neck suckage from time to time. Season six, it was those damn numbered shirts. Cynthia and Marti thought it was frickin' funny to mess with our heads and watch us clamor around looking for hidden meaning. [Those of us too lazy to clamor around salute those of you that did, especially those of you that involved math.] Perhaps this was to disguise the fact that Marti put no actual meaning into the show itself. I mean, seriously, what did Marti say when she called the writing staff together to brainstorm themes for the sixth season? "Numbered shirts! Lots of sex! Nekkid Spike! Magic=drugs=Bad! Everyone go!" Not that I'm bitter or anything.


So, for the seventh season, the new customer designer (NCD), of whom we have not yet discovered the name (if anyone has any information, please send it our way! We'd love to mock with an actual name behind the hideousness.), has decided that this year's costume theme should be big-ass necklaces. I mean BIG. This NCD tried to slip them in slowly, as though we wouldn't notice these HUGE things hanging below the characters' faces. I don't know if this is a nod to the neckware of the early seasons (going back to the beginning!), and since NCD didn't want to copy Cynthia's thing she (he? someone?) decided to pay homage instead with a different monstrosity around the neck. Maybe hanging kitchen sinks and garage doors and big screen television sets around one's neck is meant to keep the vampires away ("That one must be crazy. Look at what she has around her neck. I don't want to mess with her. Let's find a nice sane one to suck on."), or what.


In any case, it's very distracting. Perhaps though, this new costume theme kept me from the perplexing plot in this episode. The other interesting thing about this episode was Buffy's amazing changing hair! It was completely different in every scene. She also seemed to change her clothes every time she left the room. Perhaps this is a new strategy she's using to confuse her enemies. I know it's working on me.


But the episode. Were you looking for a recap? Right then.


Previously: Buffy told Spike to get outa the basement because having a crazy vampire at the high school is dangerous for the kids she's there to protect, I mean, because it's harmful to her snuggly little demon; D'Hoffryn turned Anya back into a real girl and said he's not going to kill her since she'll get hers soon enough because "beneath you, it devours" (of course he forgets this mere moments into this episode, and decides to give her hers right now anyway); Xander didn't want Anya to be alone but because he knew it would drive Suck This batty, he didn't offer a hug (and they really should have left this out of the previouslies entirely, since at no time do Xander and Anya seem to have any kind of bittersweet -- I want to be with you/I want to be alone -- history in this episode). Sadly, the previouslies do not include Giles on a horse, even though I specifically requested this scene be included at the beginning of every episode.


Next we find that Spike's getting out of the basement after all and he's going to be roomies with Xander! Xander who hates him and always has. Xander who especially hates him after Spike tried to rape his best friend. And after he watched Spike have sex with the girl he almost married. Right. Xander is opening his home, and his closet, to Spike. Because Spike needs help. Although it's obvious Xander doesn't like the plan, at no time do we get any explanation as to why Xander is going along with it. Other than Buffy wants him to. Now, I'm all for Spike and Xander living together. These two are wacky hijinks and sexual tension wrapped up in a pretty package. But surely the writers could have come up with some plausible explanation that would made even a teeny amount of sense. What happened to Spike's crypt anyway? Isn't Clem hanging out there now? Is Xander so tender-hearted that he doesn't want to kick Clem out of his new place? Is Clem secretly a scary bad ass that no one wants to cross? "Ooh, let him keep the crypt, remember what happened that time I tried to cheat him a kitten poker!" And there's a joke here somewhere about Xander keeping Spike in the closet, but I'm too bitter about the plot holes to think of it.


[Know what I wonder about Spike? And this totally doesn't belong here, but whatever. I want to know who told him that Willow went through a minor flaying-people phase. He wasn't there when it happened. He came back all soul-crazy and probably went straight to the school basement. It's not like Xander discovered him there while building it and was all "yeah, man, you missed a crazy summer. Anya dyed her hair again, I lost my neck somewhere in my collar bone and, oh yeah, Willow went crazy when Tara got shot and started pulling the skin off people. Well, just one person, but still. It was kind of whacked. And where have you been?" I only ask this, see, because I feel it's important. Which means it isn't. But really. Did the evil basement tell him? He doesn't seem to be talking to anyone else. And you know what, I'm sure he's really enjoying the crypt, but I bet Clem's getting a little bit worried about his little blond niblet. And he's probably running out of chicken. Poor Clem.]


[No, that totally explains it! We all know that secretly, Xander is in love with Spike. So, he's been hanging out, filling Spike in on all the news. And that's why he's letting Spike into his closet, depsite acting like he's against it. It makes perfect sense. -SP]


But getting back to the recap, we get the first of Buffy's many, many hairstyles: slight wave, a little bit 'o bangs. She earnestly reminds everyone that the school basement was making Spike crazy. Right, it was the basement, not the fact that his newly acquired soul is tormenting him with all the torture and death he perpetrated for a hundred and some years. Speaking of, Spike seems pretty over all that stuff. Other than feeling all remorseful for the attempted rape, he doesn't seem too bothered by the rest of what he did sans-soul. Although, in his defense, we thought all this time that Angel spent 100 years on the streets eating rats, out of remorse for all those bad deeds, when really he was living it up in Vegas with the rat pack. [And hanging out in LA, and learning Tai Chi, and becoming a martial arts expert and…]


The next day, I guess at lunch or something, Dawn and Buffy are sitting in the bleachers, watching the football players practice. Buffy, in hair atrocity #2 (check back soon for our article "sins of the hairdresser: competing with the costume designer sure is hard"), is hearkening back to season two. This could be the opening of the Dark Age, with her sunglasses and all (compare Dark Age Buffy, right, with hair style #2, below). Dawn points out while she is only 15, she actually has brains in her head, while Buffy is a complete loon with this whole "lala Spike" thing. Oh Dawn, if only you would wear some non-hideous clothes every so often, I really would believe you were capable of rational thought.


Then Dawn notices the quarterback and falls right off the bleachers. The slow motion! The song! The fact that the guy is obviously a huge dork! It must be a spell! Oh, but we don't know that yet. We just think Dawn has become just as crazy as everyone else and is falling inappropriately in love. [At least he has a pulse. So that's a plus. And something new for this show.]



Buffy apparently leaves lunch to head to Anya's place. For that traditional day-after-I-tried-to-kill-you visit. She's in a completely different outfit and hair, so you might assume it's a different day, but we next cut to Dawn at school, in the same ugly clothes she was wearing in the bleaches, so I'm just going to assume that Buffy spilled coffee all over herself again and had to shower and change. [No, wait! I have a theory! If you look very carefully, you can see the fabric of the hideous shirt peeking out from underneath the overlarge jean jacket! It's the same day! It's the same clothes! And, hopefully, Buffy waited at least two days before going over to hang. Anya did want to be alone, after all. I am glad they made a show of Buffy going to say "hey" and calling Anya a friend. Even if it is a lie. ]


D'Hoffryn apparently forgets both that he told Anya he wasn't going to kill her, and that he can make things happen (such as make her dead) simply by waving his hand, and sends a demon after her. Coincidentally, he sends it right as Buffy shows up. And fortunately, Buffy has gotten over her kill-Anya urge and actually protects her. Anya is still in her alone-time vibe, but Buffy either wants to protect her or wants Anya around to protect everyone else. I'm really not sure what Buffy's point is here. [That they're friends. Best buds. Simpaticos. Even though they're totally not. Never have been. Never really will be. I guess Buffy just felt real bad about that whole stabbing her through the chest thing, when all Anya really needed was a hug.] Also, something bad has happened to Anya's hair. I really don't understand it. I guess the hairdresser was working overtime on giving Buffy a makeover for each scene and didn't have any time left for Anya.


Back at school, Dawn is headed into the almost-most-awkward scene of the series. I say almost, because the most awkward scene is still coming up. The dreamy quarterback (RJ), is hanging out with his football and cheerleading buddies, and Dawn walks up, all socially inept and embarrassing. Well, she was until recently a glowy blob of energy, so she's still getting the hang of this flirting thing. Just a little note about this scene: while it is obvious that both the cheerleaders sorta like RJ, neither is acting homicidal or crazy. Just make a note of it for later.


Dawn, on the other hand, clearly insane, decides to relive Bring It On, but without Eliza Dushku's character's gymnastics moves or cool standoffish vibes. And, might I add, without Jesse-Bradford-he's-so-cute as the charming yet slightly dangerous brother. Dammit. [You know what someone on this show needs? And by someone I mean someone of the male persuasion? A tattoo on the inner side of their arm. Nothing elaborate, we're not talking hula dancers here, just something simple. I bet the ratings would go through the roof. Joss should really get on that.]



Buffy's many hairstyles this episode alone


























She finds Buffy's old cheerleading outfit [actually, she digs for it. Heads straight for that thing. Cuz jocks just can't resist those little pleated skirts and spankies, yo. Spankies are HOT] and for some reason thinks she'll try out in that. Even though the new outfits look nothing like the old ones. And everyone else is in workout gear. She cheers about RJ then falls over. Did I mention the most awkward scene of the series was coming up? Well, here it is. I really can't dwell on this scene any longer. Let's just move right along.


Except, can I just say, thank you Drew for actually watching the previous episodes of the show for which you are now writing. Because it's very obvious that you have and are actually including history of the characters in the show, unlike Marti, who although running the show, admits to never having seen season one, although she thinks Buffy possibly died or something in it. [And we are so not making that up. During season five she did commentary for season two, and she had no clue. We here at B&BT are just…speechless.] Hey Marti? If actually watching the episodes is too time-consuming for you, you could just read our handy recaps. We're just thinking of you here.


OK, now we can move along.


When Dawn gets home, Buffy tries to comfort her. At least I think that's what she's doing. It's unclear since she's doing such a terrible job of it. Xander pops in to remind us that Spike is his roommate now, even though Xander doesn't really like him much. An illuminating scene, truly. [I am truly interested by this Xander and Buffy as mother and father, in that order, theme. And it's interesting they both only really stepped up, or we only saw them step up, after Tara died. So Xander got a suit and a paternal instinct? Why hasn't he moved into the Summers' household yet? And while I'm on the whole Summer's household thing, Willow's still there. Where are Willow's parents? Do they know their daughter was recently evil? Do they know she's GAY NOW? Do they care? I feel her parents would care. Of course, we've only seen them once in Gingerbread, but they seem like the judgmental type, know what I mean? What does this have to do with the recap? Absolutely nothing. It's 8 in the freaking morning on a Sunday, don't expect me to be linear.]


The next day, Dawn overhears RJ's football friend gloat he's starting as quarterback the next game rather than RJ. Dawn promptly pushes the so-called "friend" right down the stairs. Oh no! Has Willow's evilness rubbed off on her? Is she too close to the school basement and it's making her crazy? Was Glory right and the green ball energy really is rooted in badness? Has Dawn started to feel the slayer strength? Did the monks really use a "from the slayer" spell to create Dawn and thus made her from both Buffy and Faith, and Faith's bad girl core is showing through? [ha! No! because that would actually be interesting.] Or possibly, Dawn's under a spell. A stretch, I know, since spells rarely happen in Sunnydale.


From what I read online, this portion of the episode was hard for the unspoiled to watch, because they thought Dawn was truly doing all of these out of character things on her own. Since I knew that the jacket had a hold on her, I didn't have to go through that pain. Remember the lesson! Spoilers are your friends!


Buffy, in possibly her eighth complete makeover of the episode, leans against the desk as the principal tries to determine just how evil Dawn is. He must be comparing her to himself. [What? When? When he was back in that 'hood of his? You know, cuz he must be from the 'hood. Ahahahhahaa. That joke never gets old, no matter what show it's used on.] Buffy unethically uses her position to get Dawn out of it.


RJ figures that since Dawn would maim for him, maybe he should throw a date her way. That guy sure is a charmer.


Later that night, Buffy, Willow, and Xander hang out at the Bronze. Just like old times. They notice Faith-lite dancing with RJ the corrupter. Although I'm not sure how they're dancing, since although I realize this is the long-anticipated performance by The Breeders, their music isn't particularly harmonic or danceable. Just an observation. Xander (and apparently Willow) think Faith-lite is pretty hot, thus keeping with one of this episode's themes: inappropriate attraction to underage jail-bait is wacky fun! Note here that while RJ is wearing the jacket, neither Buffy nor Willow seem to be magically attracted to him. I'm just sayin'.


And since I'm ranting anyway, I may as well mention that I didn't pay attention to who directed this episode, but he did an odd job. I think the behind the scenes people, like the director, and the camera man, and the chief gaffer, and best boy, are doing a good job when you don't notice them or what they do. They are the invisible glue that make the episode flow together. Only in this episode, there were times it seemed the camera was on a bungee cord (notably in the scene in Anya's apartment. I felt a little motion sick.). And the director seems overly fond of the technique of Zooming In On Someone's Face To Add Drama. Only his method seems to be, "OK, it's been at least three minutes. Better do that zoom in thing again."


OK, I'm done with my ranting.


Wait, except NCD strikes again, with both Willow and Dawn wearing beach balls around their necks. OK, really done now. Seriously.


Buffy confronts Dawn and tells her she's glad their mom is dead so she doesn't have to see Dawn doing the sexy dance. Yeah, 'cause Buffy's never done anything like that before. Dawn walks out into the scary alley and gets into a catfight with cheerleader #1. She's apparently started to act all crazy and homicidal too!


The next day at school, the principal chastises RJ for not doing his homework. This harshes RJ's mellow and is gets all mopey. Buffy again abuses her position, and starts in on him (RJ that is, not the principal) about Dawn. I see now why RJ wears that jacket all the time, because his shirt would make any girl run screaming. Once he puts that jacket on, Buffy starts to relive that time she put on just a raincoat for Xander and turned into a rat. Well, without the rat part. And the raincoat. I'm assuming this is the point of which the unspoiled realized that there is some kind of spell in play. Why else would Buffy act sexually inappropriate? That would never happen.


I guess that night, although, again, Buffy's in a completely different outfit from the one she was in earlier, Dawn comes home. Buffy tells her she talked to RJ and he likes her and Dawn's all bonding and "what did he say" as though the whole Bronze incident never happened. Buffy tells Dawn that RJ doesn't like pushy girls and Dawn doesn't say "you just don't want me coming on strong like I was last night, so you're trying a different tactic from the yelling and you're making the whole thing up". Instead, she thanks Buffy for looking out for her. She worries some other girl is going to sweep him up. Oh Dawn. If you only knew.


The next day (seriously, this episode lasts for weeks), Buffy gets RJ out of class in the third abuse of power in this episode alone. She is not wearing a raincoat, although she is wearing an easy access skirt. I guess she learned from all those uncomfortable clothes she wore while having unrealistic sex with Spike. [How Buffy got dressed for work that morning: "Catholic school girl skirt, loose. Check. Seductive shirt that enables getting to second easily, check. No underwear, check.] She jumps RJ right there in an empty classroom and apparently, none of the students going by notice other than Dawn. Buffy is clearly straddling him in that skirt and I'm thinking some illegal action is going on here. I've seen that others think it was just heavy making out, but we've seen Spike and Buffy much more clothed while doing it. [But we've also seen them gyrating more vigorously than a room of drunken bunnies, so I'm kind of hoping that we're just talking heavy petting here. And damn, how sad is that?]


Dawn runs out and conveniently finds Xander who goes off to see what kind of sexcapades Buffy is up to now. He finds her doing what she does best these days and drags her home. [But, come on! Xander got to say "and Buffy, get off the boy…"! How can you be bitter about a scene like this? It's classic! And comical! And not the least bit disturbing!]


Buffy tells Dawn to stop crying since her lover RJ is never going to love Dawn and Xander tries to explain that it must be a love spell. And Anya is over at the house! Although no one explains why! [I think it was sort of implied that she would be living there now. You know, the whole "there's bad out there, yo. And I don't want my friends out there alone. Remember? They're friends?] Xander, Willow, and Anya go off to do research. Xander fondly remembers his love spell in Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. "Good times." Um, right. He fondly remembers how everyone was trying to kill him, and Willow was waving an axe in his face, and Dru almost turned him into a vampire, and Buffy got turned into a rat, and a mob descended on him and Cordy in Buffy's basement, ready to tear him apart, and would have if the spell hadn't been broken. Yeah, those were good times. I know I said I was glad that Drew had seen the old episodes, and I realize that it's funny for Xander to reminisce about being loved by all the women in town, but I really don't think he looks back on that time fondly. Maybe that's just me.


But now that we know it's all a spell, we're free to laugh at the wacky spell hijinks and let go of our bitterness. Well, we're free to laugh anyway. Xander realizes he knows RJ's older brother, in that the brother uses to be all popular and torment him in high school, so he decides to head over to see if he can get any scoop. For some unexplained reason, he brings Spike with him, not unlike how Anya was inexplicably at Buffy's house, helping the gang, acting perfectly normal with Xander despite the fact the last time they met she was all "I need to be away from you".


They find that RJ's popular cool brother is now a big 'ole loser who lives in the basement and delivers pizza and waits for his mom to bring him and his friends raisins. [Can I say, for the record, that this actor gave the best line reading ever with "I'm in the management program." Dude, I crack up every. Single. Time.] Xander decides they need to leave right away, because he only recently escaped that fate and doesn't want to be reminded of it. Spike turns an angel statue away so it stops looking at him. But crazy basement guy then notices that RJ and the brother have the same jacket. Now, it seems to me that logic would say all high school football players have letterman's jackets, and they all look like the same jacket. But, no, turns out Spike is right. It is the actual same jacket, and the brother passed it down to RJ just as the brother became a big loser and RJ stopped being a big 'ole D&D nerd. Before that, it belonged to their dad, who wore it when he met their mom, the hot Miss Arkansas. And the plot thickens!


Interesting that while the letter jackets at Sunnydale high seem to be the same as they were twenty years ago, but the cheerleading outfits of just a few years back are now laughably out of date. Poor Dawn and her awkward Bring it on audition. [More importantly, SP, that letterman's jacket was at Sunnydale High. When Xander was. And Buffy. And Willow. Unless Xander was originally a year ahead and got held back in the ninth grade. And hey, it's possible. We didn't find out about Buffy being institutionalized until six years later! But, no. Apparently the girls were able to resist the jacket back then? Does that mean, say, that they're character has disintegrated to the point where they can no longer resist? No, wait, what am I saying? That would actually be deep and not obvious. I must be thinking of some other show.]


Anya and Willow hang out, all chummy, trying to figure out what the deal is with the spell. But all that is forgotten when RJ knocks on the door, looking for some more action with Buffy. They tell him to leave and as they walk away, we hear the love spell music. Anya and Willow are in love. I mean with RJ, not with each other. At least for now. Now, why the jacket affects them now, when it did nothing for Willow at the Bronze earlier, and seemingly only caused mild crushes for most of the girls in school all the times he's worn it before, I have no idea. We certainly don't see a crowd of girls threatening to kill him with axes. No. It's just the scoobies that become crazy loons. Don't ask me why. I just recap this stuff.


Anya and Willow fight about who loves him most. Buffy gets in on the action (in different outfit and hair as moments before when explaining to Dawn that she's crazy) while Dawn looks on forlornly. Willow thinks that despite being a gay woman, she can work around his penis. And while Buffy and Anya assure her that her gayness means she can't possibly love him like they do, Willow does not remind them that she does have a track record with deep love for men, because she needs to be completely gay in order for the wacky hijinks to ensue! And also because Joss thinks it would be disingenuous to remain true to the continuity that Willow has loved both men and women and hopes that the spell that made everyone remember Dawn before she actually existed also wiped the memories of Willow's love for Xander and Oz from our minds! [Man, SP, don't give him any ideas, okay?]


They all try to one up each other so RJ will love them most. Buffy decides that she'll kill the principal, because then he can't harrass RJ anymore! Willow figures she'll turn RJ into a woman so they can bask in their hot gay lovin'. Anya thinks she knows what he'll like but doesn't blurt out her secret plan like the others do. Dawn wanders off, dejected. [Here's a question: why does Dawn, before she's all wandery, sink against the wall and utter "him" in this tiny, sad voice? So we could get the episode title in there somewhere? Or am I fixating on small, unimportant details again? Oh shush.]


We learn here that Buffy has apparently learned how to drive, although she doesn't do any better of a job driving her mom's jeep here than she did in Band Candy. Willow starts her RJ-into-a-woman spell, Buffy speeds up to the school, Anya becomes a bank robber (because everyone loves money!), but Dawn has to put a damper on the fun by laying down on some train tracks and waiting for the train.


Xander interrupts Willow's spell of flying popcorn just in time. And do I have to point out that Xander actually figured out what was going on, while Willow and Anya just got sucked in to it? The rest of the episode is more of Xander saving everyone. again. Like always. Just thought I'd point that out.


No matter how many times I see the next scene, I'll never get tired of it. I think this episode should have been just this scene, over and over. I can't do it justice. You really have to see if for yourself. Buffy (in yet again, another outfit, so although she rushed out of the house to prove her love before anyone else, she had time to put on a sweater and fix her hair) sneaks up on the principal, who's innocently (and by that I mean evil-ly) working in his office. She's outside with a bazooka, or possibly the rocket launcher from Innocence, about to shoot him. Seriously, she's shooting him with the largest weapon she can possibly carry. She sneaks up and Spike tackles her, chases after her and gets the weapon. They're out of the frame. Then they're back in the frame as she chases him to get the bazooka thing back. The principal works obliviously, listening to jazz. Seriously, just go watch it. [I think I'm kind of bitter that it wasn't longer.]


Buffy chases Spike around the corner, and I think Suck This might have a few things to say about this scene. [Yes! Thank you! I do! No disrespect to SMG intended, and I have been accused of running like a duck many times, but I really feel the director should have just focused the frame from the waist up as Buffy chased Spike. The entire power of the scene was lost. I no longer believed it was a Slayer high on crack chasing Spike, but a petite actress in heels trying to run across the lawn, and failing spectacularly at looking powerful. [Also, it looked like her pants were just way too long and she kept tripping over them. Very graceful. -SP] I'm really annoyed. ME has never shirked from using her body double before for the running. And hey, you know, we can't all run as gracefully as Jennifer Garner. So, please, next time? Either use someone that runs convincingly, put SMG in tennis shoes or focus on the waist up. Thanks. Because it completely ruins the scene.] They end up back in the parking lot where Xander and Willow are waiting. Willow is doing a spell to find Dawn. I guess they figure Anya can take care of herself for a while. Dawn, of course, is waiting for a train.


I can't even describe this next scene, it's so ridiculous. Buffy sees an oncoming train about to hit Dawn. Conveniently, there's a train going the other way that she jumps on to and hitches a ride to where Dawn is. Then she jumps down and somehow saves Dawn before train A hits her. Nothing about this scene makes any sense. You can't even tell how it's possible. Again, with the bad direction. Seriously. [Let's not forget, please, the scene between Buffy and Willow before Buffy sees the train. Actually, before Xander, the hero, sees the train and points it out to the crazy people. Buffy and Willow freak out that Anya might be hitting on RJ at THAT VERY MOMENT. And they wouldn't put it past her, because she was recently evil. And then Willow says hey, I was recently evil too, why should Anya get all the fun? Yep. Apparently love spells absolve all guilt over killing people and just generally being evil. Cuz they're wacky. And love makes you do the wacky. Yep.]


Turns out, Dawn decided the only way she could prove she loved RJ most was by dying. Because see, Buffy set the example by showing her love for Dawn by dying in The Gift. Gotta be careful what kind of role model you are, Buffy. Stop dying all the time already!


[Right. Lessons Dawn has learned, through example:


Hot, rough sex with someone you profess to hate is the only way to feel alive.


Friends are bothersome, and it's okay to try and kill them.


It's okay to seduce minors at school.


You don't really need to worry about underwear, it can just sort of be pushed aside.


Sex in public places and on your sister's dinner is okay.


Screwing a sociopath is okay, if they've been properly neutered.


Leaving your younger sister with said sociopath is also okay, see previous reason about neutering.


Beating people up and killing things is the answer. Always.]


The next scene is the second most hilarious ever, after the bazooka scene. Spike and Xander sneak up on RJ, all serious with their big plan. Then they run as fast as they can, grab RJ, and steal his jacket. Oh yeah. Just splice those two scenes together and put 'em on repeat. [Can we have an episode where everyone with the x chromosomes disappears, and it's just Xander and Spike? The entire episode? I could get behind that.]


Back at the Buffy abode (aka, the new library, aka, the new magic box, aka the place of meeting), they burn the jacket. Apparently this lifts the spell and no one's all crazy anymore. Dawn is sad that she fell for it and acted so mean. At no point does Buffy mention that she was in fact way meaner than Dawn ever was. Xander says that they've all fallen for these evil curse things and Buffy wants to know if he thought about putting on the jacket. He doesn't tell her about how he put it on after he and Spike grabbed it in an attempt to get Spike to admit his love, and instead claims it didn't fit. Sure, Xand.


Everyone is all embarrassed about their misdeeds and Willow wants to know what big embarrassing thing Anya did. She claims that she wrote him poetry comparing him to a lake (she's stealing Justin's lyrics!), slyly turns off the radio news alert about a masked bandit, and offers to buy everyone ice cream. Now that she doesn't need to buy RJ's love with all the money she stole, she's turning her attention to the rest of them. [Oh! New lesson for Dawn! If you rob a bank under a love spell, it's okay to keep the money! Excellent!]



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