beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah








season seven  >  end of days


Pick up where we left off. Faith and SiTs all blowed up. Buffy staring at her shiny, new, ancient scythe.


Buffy easily plucks Excalibur out of the rock, freaking out Caleb who has by now joined her. He babbles a bit about how if she goes she cuts him in half and the First tells him to let her go. Because, you know, it's not time.


So? You found it. Not impressed. Because the question now, girly girl is: can you pry that out of solid rock before... Darn.


Chaos as SiTs yell at each other, trying to figure out who's alive and who isn't. One of the SiTs, I note, wore a skirt to battle. How Buffy. [A very short skirt. How very Buffy. -SP] They find Vi and Vi is all "ooh, my arm's broken." She then sees some blowed up SiTs-I think so anyway. It is rather dark in there-and decides maybe her broken arm isn't that bad. They all want to flee, but the unfortunately alive Kennedy insists they find Faith.


Faith, it turns out, got herself tossed into the moat. The girls drag her lifeless body out and carry her out of the tunnels. They climb over some stuff and then the cameras come rushing at Vi's back as she straddles some pipes and hey, it's Ubie!


That's right, somehow Ubie's back. The girl's rally under Kennedy's "come on, we can beat this" cry and stand all tough in a half circle, attempting to look threatening. I find myself wondering where the hell Rona is. She was there last episode, because Faith saved her ass in the sewer battle, and yet-no Rona. I think we've found our Chloe of the episode! anyway, they fall apart when it turns out there are actually 3 Ubies. Kennedy manages to get one off her in the previously bitched about shoulder toss, and then the girls all scream and allow the Ubies to take one of their nameless own and tear her apart, much like something you would see on a documentary on hungry lions. It's really disturbing. For a show about female empowerment, it sure focuses on females getting the shit repeatedly kicked out of them. And that's good stuff.


Sadly, Buffy somehow finds them, fuck knows how, and takes the Ubies out in 3 seconds with her new ancient scythe. Buffy tells them to get the wounded because they're getting the hell out of dodge.


This, of course, is intercut, I think, with Andrew bringing food from the abandoned grocery store, because everyone has left town, and he recommends the apples. The rest of the gang thinks things have gone wrong since Faith isn't back, and Andrew points out that he kept up morale.


Back at Fort Summers, chaos still reigns. Xander and Giles ineptly carry the unconscious Faith upstairs. Buffy gets bandages together as the SiTs ponder whether they were being punished for overthrowing the dictator and Buffy assures them it could have happened to her, but she doesn't mean it. Buffy shows off her new scythe and Giles and Willow are in charge of finding out about it. All they have to go on is that it's shiny, old and that Buffy knew it was hers. I'm sure if they google that they'll come up with some informative site on mystical axes and scythes and the like.


By the way, some people are acting slightly on edge about the whole staging a coup thing, but not nearly enough. There should be some more awkwardness here people. I'm just sayin'. But apparently it's all better, because we don't really have time to go into it, we have to save all the time we can for the Spike/Buffy emote-a-thon later.


Anya and Andrew tend to the wounded. Anya predictably talks about them being mortally wounded in front of one of the wounded. Say it with me: ha. Ha. Ha. Andrew decides that setting a broken leg with wooden spoons isn't the bees knees, so he swigs some of Giles' single malt antiseptic and decides that he's going to the abandoned hospital to get real supplies [so the grocery stores and hospitals are abandoned but the Bronze is full up pep and a live band?], and Anya's going with him because he's too tipsy to drive. Anya, having had nothing to do for half a season, it's understandably overexcited by this.


And I could use a cookie. But I'm not making reckless wishes.


Buffy, having showered and fixed her hair and put on a sassy new jean ensemble, talks to Xander in the kitchen. We aren't supposed to know what she asked, but she asked him to go away, and he's all sad because he wanted to be there for the end. Buffy, touched that he thinks she's going to die, tells him she really wants him to go because she's afraid he'll break their nice things, and Xander says that if she dies, he'll just bring her back because that's what he does. Aw, honey. You probably wouldn't even get that anymore. I'm sure we'd find out that Andrew's got wicked resurrection talent or something.


Willow finds that website that I just knew she could, and after some mindless babble Giles and Willow find out that it's a scythe made by some pagans that just happened to bury their dead in Sunnydale. Pagans from far, far away buried their dead in Sunnydale. Yep. [Oh, and we're reminded once again that this Giles is not the actual Giles we know and love as he bitches about how research sucks and it's impossible to find anything in the books. And he looks to the Internet for answers. Right.]


Caleb, meanwhile, is pissy because the First made him let Buffy go. The First talks like Buffy and it bothers Caleb. Does this mean that the First becomes what it is? Or that as Buffy wakes up and stops being such a bitch her good starts to take over the First? No, no it doesn't, it actually doesn't mean anything. The First and Caleb merging doesn't mean anything either. It makes him stronger, apparently, and a god of a some kind and the vessel of the First, but it doesn't mean anything.



[At this point, we get a touching scene between Buffy and Faith, where Faith likes the rockin' power of the scythe, but figures since she screwed up the leader thing, she doesn't really get to hang on to it. Buffy's all, dude, look how often I've gotten people killed and maimed! That's how you know you've finally arrived as a real leader! But then she takes the scythe back anyway and mutters under her breath that Faith had better take her grubby murdering mitts off her damned scythe already. Only possibly she mutters it in her head.]


Buffy tries to go to the graveyard to find out about the scythe but is interrupted by Spike. Spike understands why Buffy ditched him for the pretty red toy, and then we are launched into the fan fic segment of tonight's program. Spike's an idiot, he gave her the strength to get the scythe so she only has it because of him, Spike was terrified of the other night because it meant so much to him, and neither have been that close to anyone ever. And that's all your getting out of me. And even that was too much.


They leave, Spike to go check the vineyard or something and Buffy to the pyramid they've never noticed in the cemetery. Inside, Buffy is confronted by the "last surprise". I'm not really sure why we're being put through this, but she's really, really old and the last of her kind. There were the Shadow Men, and then the Watchers but there has always been these strange women who seem to do nothing. She has apparently been living in a tomb since the scythe was used to put the last pure demon in the earth, waiting for buffy to come. Just hanging out, practicing being cryptic. Basically we learn that it's really old. And powerful. But she's got other weapons, so just make sure you use it right. Yep. Thankfully, Caleb somehow gets into crypto-woman's room and sneaks up behind her and breaks her neck.


And they fight. And Buffy's ass gets kicked around. And then, right before Caleb can chop off her head, Angel shows up and punches Caleb. It's a damn shame Buffy couldn't save herself there, isn't it? Yes, it is. But she couldn't. So she hops up, Angel backs up because it's something she has to finish on her own, and Buffy eventually sticks Caleb in the gut. Angel declares that he's really missed watching this, which is disturbing when you stop to think about it. But they kiss in a way I can only assume is passionate yet cold, and we pan over to Spike and the First as Buffy, watching from the shadows. So, what? Was Spike hiding there the whole time? Watching her get her ass kicked? Was he going to jump in there anytime soon? Whatever.




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