beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah


season three



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Angel's in hell. Buffy's mopey. Angel's back. Buffy's mopey. Angel and Buffy get back together; Angel and Buffy break up. Buffy's... well, maybe you can guess. Faith the Vampire Slayer cozies up with the Mayor. He turns into a big snake and eats principal Snyder. It's a whole deal.












Buffy's all sad because of sending her boyfriend to hell and all, so she decides to punish herself by running off to LA and doing penance as a waitress. She ends up in hell herself, but can't seem to find Angel there. Guess he's in a different part of town or something.












Dead Man's Party

Zombies. Bitchy Buffy friends. Buffy has to decide which she should kill with a shovel.




Faith, Hope, & Trick

So, there's like this new slayer girl, right? And she's all cool and stuff 'cause she wrestles aligators nekkid. And maybe she and Buffy will be great friends and have slumber parties and maybe Faith will be a good influence on Buffy and they can go to church together and stuff.


Well, they do end up going to church together one day.


Oh! And then, there's this vampire who's kinda like a goat? And this other vampire who who's all high-tech and scary? Oh, and this other vampire who falls down nekkid on top of Buffy's claudaugh ring, back from hell or something. That had to hurt.






Beauty and the Beasts

Who's the beast in Sunnydale? Oz, sweet yet wolfy? Angel, now with a back from being tortured in hell spin to his vampyness? Or possibly Pete, the random guy we just met.












Buffy wants to be Cordy for a day and experience the feeling of being homecoming queen. Instead, Cordy ends up a bit like Buffy for the day and experiences the feeling of being the Slayer. Only with a spatula.







Band Candy

Giles and Joyce have sex. Twice. On top of a police car.









Faith's new watcher comes to town. Or, wait, maybe she's just an evil villianous out to poison Faith's already hardening heart. Come to think of it, the WC never did send that girl a new watcher of her very own. I'd be bitter too.






Lover's Walk

Spike's back and he'd like Dru back please. He locks Willow and Xander in a room and forces them to make out. Oh wait. Maybe not so much of the forcing. Oz and Cordy happen by and the broken heart not being enough, Cordy gets speared through the stomach. This doesn't make her so happy.














The Wish

Cordy is little irked with Xander. So she inadvertently calls a vengeance demon to fall in love with Xander and marry him. But first there's this whole spell where Buffy never came to Sunnydale and everyone dies.









Angel decides he was brought back from hell to kill Buffy. Well, she did send him there after all. He should get some pay back.








Buffy's and Willow's moms decide to burn them at the stake. For the fun.


So, the WC has this cool plan. Take their super-strong Slayer and steal all her power away. See if she can still hold her own against a psychotic vampire. If she can't, well then she's not Slayer-worthy anyway, so she dies and they get to try again with a new Slayer. Those WC guys. Such a hoot.


So, for Buffy's 18th birthday, Giles gives her a gift of weakness and takes away her superpowers. Oh, and almost gets her mom killed. Happy birthday Buffy.






The Zeppo

Xander saves the day. Again. But this time no one acknowledges it because they don't know, as opposed to the other times when they just don't notice.






Bad Girls

Want. Take. Have. Buffy and Faith do some partying.









Cue ominous music here.


Faith has killed a human. Sure, she thought he was a vamp. And sure, he was really a slimy yes-man for the evil mayor, so possibly the world is a better place without him, but Faith has become MacBeth. Or MacBeth's wife. Or whoever that was who was damning the spot.


Anyway, thrown by her inadvertent evil, she decides to make up for it by going all the way. Why make do with a little accidental evil, when you can be an evil bitch goddess?








Anya's looking for her innocent little necklace that will restore her as a vengeance demon and throw the world back into that alternate reality where they all died and the Master had the world's biggest slurpie machine.


She tries to get Willow to help her find it, but Willow's not so keen on looking under the sofa in hell.


Instead of the necklace, they bring back evil-Willow from slurpie-land, who's a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll, er or possibly a little bit evil, skanky, and kinda gay.







Angel's bad again. Oh, no, wait. He's good. He just wanted to make out with Faith a while to get her to spill the mayor's secrets.









Buffy learns this cool trick where she can hear what everyone is thinking. All the time. It comes in pretty handy, since she overhears someone dreaming about killing the whole school. Sadly, she can't figure out who it was or how they're planning to do it.


She narrows it down to sweet little Jonathan, which is crazy, since we all know he would never do anything to hurt anyone. Ever. Turns out he was only planning to kill himself way up in that clock tower with that really big rifle.


And Xander was right all along. It was the evil lunch lady, tired of feeding the kids that pesky non-rat poison filled food.







Willow or a bunch of bugs...? Willow or a bunch of bugs...? Oz makes it pretty clear which way he's leaning.







The Prom

Dresses, hellhounds, the usual prom stuff. And Buffy gets an umbrella for her efforts.







Graduation Day (Pt. 1)

The scoobies are finally graduating from high school. They'd be stoked, other than the fact that the mayor plans to turn into a huge snake and eat them all during the ceremony. Willow and Oz prepare by having sex.


Then, Faith decides to take Buffy out of the equation by poisoning Angel with a special magic arrow that only Slayer's blood can cure. Too bad she forget about how she's a Slayer too, so her blood'll work just as well.







Graduation Day (Pt. 2)

Since Buffy managed to put Faith in a coma, but not grab her body before it landed in a passing truck, Angel has to suck Buffy dry in order not to die. The mayor, er, snake, gets all blowed up.


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