beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah






My, your neck looks tasty.

season one  >  angel


Angel. He's so sweet and quiet and shy. And scared. And a bloodsucky vampire who tormented the world for a hundred and fifty years. Buffy thinks he's cute.


What? Not enough recap for you? So demanding, you.


Right, so the master and his minions are all bummed that they can't seem to kill Buffy. Darla is very eager to give it a try, but the master says he doesn't want her to do it because she has a personal interest. Since when is that a reason for a vampire not to go hunting? Are they like judges? They have to recuse themselves if they know the victim? They can only suck someone dry if they can do it objectively? It seriously makes no sense. It's really only there so we can wonder what her personal interest could possibly be. I'm in such suspense!


Instead, the master sends the three. The three what? Stooges? Musketeers? Horsemen? Oh, wait, there were four horsemen. Never mind. In any case, apparently three is a scary number. Unlike one, which is the loneliest number. But that's beside the point. We're supposed to be all worried for Buffy. Because three is scary. Just go with it.


Meanwhile, Buffy, Willow, and Xander are at the cockroach extermination party at the bronze, dreaming about Angel. OK, maybe Willow is dreaming about Xander. When Buffy decides to take her mopey self home, the three jump her and we find out what's so scary about them: there's three of them. Two to hold her arms and one to kill her. Why didn't anyone think of that before?


Angel, who seems really creepy, and is apparently stalking her, jumps in at the last minute, gets himself stabbed, and the two of them run away. Just ponder that for a moment. Buffy and Angel run away from three little vampires. The truly frightening thing here is Buffy's hair. Which is only topped by her choice of outfit. Seriously, a white glittery bra-like top under what appears to be a macramed black sweater.


Buffy feels bad for the poor, wounded Angel, and plus, she's been looking for a reason to get him into her bedroom with his clothes off, so she sneaks him in and tells him to stay the night in case the scary vampires are still out there. OK, so she doesn't know he's a vampire yet, but he has been taking care of himself just fine before she showed up. And he's the one who's been coming by with cryptic warnings about the bad guys, so clearly he's clued in to the evil. But because there might be vampires outside, she keeps him safe in her room. And not just that night, but all the next day too.


And maybe she didn't know he could take care of himself, but he remembered he was a vampire, right? He knew he didn't need to hide away in a girl's room. Why didn't he just sneak out after Buffy fell asleep? As not to blow his cover? He was already mysterious stealthy guy. Sneaking away in the dead of night would just add to the mystique.


I suppose we're supposed to think he stuck around because he likes her and wants any excuse to be around her. Which is why he generally runs off when he has cryptic messages to give her. My head hurts, so let's just move along.


Angel? I can just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey, you're in grave danger. I'll see you next month.'


The next day at the library, while Angel is hiding in Buffy's room watching her mom clean it, Giles gets all alarmed that Buffy was attacked by the three. There's three of them! They're so scary! The master must really dislike you! You who slays his kind and is keeping him locked in an underground church! I'm shocked!


The master, meanwhile, takes joy where he can get it and has Darla dust the three. Apparently, she didn't have any personal interest in them, even if she does seem pretty giddy to stake the guys who took her Buffy-killing gig away.


That night, Angel is still lurking in Buffy's room. Dude, it's night. You can leave anytime. If it's the three you're so woried about, they're dead. Your old girlfriend killed them already. Sheesh.


Buffy brings him a plastic baggie of food. How did she know that all his food comes in plastic bags? It's just like home!


They start making out and he starts to get a little hungry. For her neck. In a suck all her  blood kind of way. She's all, you're a vampire? So, that's why I only ever saw you at night and you're in need of a suntan and you have those fangs. I just thought you were one of those goth guys! How silly am I, a vampire slayer and all? Giles was right when he said I needed brushing up on my vampire-sensing skills. Angel is astounded by her obliviousness and jumps out the window.







The next day, Buffy's all, but if he's an evil vampire, why didn't he just stake me? Surely he wouldn't just toy with me a while first? Nah, Angel would never do that.


Back at casa de Angel, Darla shows up. Remember her? She and Angel reminisce about good times just enough to screw up any chance at continuity in later flashback scenes.


In the library, Giles has done some research on Angel. I won't mention how dorky it is that Giles has never heard of him, when throughout the rest of the series, everyone Angel meets has heard of him. Giles tells them how Angel has a history of being all vicious and bloodsucky. Being a vampire and all.


In the underground church, Darla and the master reminisce about Angel just enough to screw up any change at continuity in later flashback scenes.


Willow and Buffy write "Buffy + Angle 4eva" over and over in their notebooks and little hearts. They leave out the drawings of Angel eating the hearts.


Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.


Darla sets up her plan to get Angel back by chowing down on Buffy's mom. Angel swoops him and Darla tempts him with Joyce's neck. He starts to get a little hungry and Darla runs off, leaving Angel with the blood on his hands. I mean dripping from her neck. Cue Buffy, stage left.


Later, in the hospital, Giles figures out that Angel didn't bite Joyce, but it's too late. Buffy is off to stake him. And Xander perpetuates the big lie by not telling her what he knows so that... oh, wait. Wrong episode again.


Buffy confronts Angel at the bronze. He yells, "let's get it done!" I don't know if he wants to kill her, or wants her to kill him, or if that's his sexy come one line or what. In any case, Buffy's a bad shot, which gives Angel time to recount his life story. Then Darla shows up and fills in the gaps and goes all woman scorned and tries to kill Buffy. Angel stakes her first.


Angel's sire. His first true love. The one he died for. Dust. Don't worry, she comes back. They always come back.


Later, Angel and Buffy make out again, but this time, he manages to keep his fangs to himself. In a poignant, touching moment, we see that Buffy's cross, the cross Angel gave her, burns into Angel's chest. She, being well, her, doesn't even notice.



...Ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am.






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