beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah

 

 

 

 

 

Why doesn't he just slit her throat, or strangle her while she's sleeping, or cut her heart out? What? I'm trying to help.

 

season two   >  passion

 

In the spirit of being boil-y and blinding torment-y to myself (I'm an equal opportunity torturer), it is with great laziness that I scribe the recap to Passion. I do not hold this episode in as much reverence as most fans do, so consider yourselves duly warned. [It's one of my favorites, so I'll be watching for any uncalled for mocking. Although I really don't know if there's really any such thing. I think this is one of the saddest episodes of Buffy, what with the violent, unexpected, senseless death of one of the Buffyverse's most beloved characters. We'll miss you BBS guy! -SP]

 

Angelus of the leather stalks Buffy as she plays, sleeps and mopes. This is because he's evil. In case you didn't catch on to that he does all this while evil, he is wearing leather pants. There's also a stirring case for needing passion in our lives that David Boreanaz voices over Angelus watching Buffy sleep in her room.

 

Please tell me how a Slayer could not realize a vampire was sitting on her bed, playing with her hair? And shouldn't she be out, you know, slaying?

 

Buffy, wigged by the Angelus being in her room, long enough to draw a lovely charcoal rendition of the slumbering Slayer apparently (and my god, is there NOTHING this vampire can't do? He draws, he Tai Chis, he beds underage chicks, he ran with the Rat Pack…oh, that's right. Dance. He can't dance.), tells Giles to stop being a protective ninny and to let her know what Angelus has done in the past. Since he vaguely hinted at, while they were dating, to driving his last obsession crazy and killing her entire family. To which Giles says "okay." We don't hear much about it, though. Just something about a puppy. And nails. Not that I believe Angelus actually nailed a puppy to a tree or anything, because the Angelus we've seen in flashbacks on both shows?

 

A total wuss. [But he kills Willow's fish! Could a wuss do that? Kill innocent little fishies? I think not.]

 

When not researching Angelus, Buffy is busy filling the time giving the evil gypsy the cold shoulder. Giles follows suit, but he feels real bad about it. Miss Calendar was, after all, the only chick of legal age that ever gave him the time of day. Buffy eventually feels guilty about this, and basically gives Miss Calendar the go-ahead to speak to her little British love monkey. Very generous of her, I thought. Miss Calendar wants to make it up to Buffy, but Buffy ignores her evil ass.

 

I feel there's more to this episode, and I'm missing it. Hm…I'm sure it wasn't important. I'm sure it involved Evil!Spike and insane Dru, but it would bring back too many memories of Spike when he was cool, and it's just too painful to bear. Besides, it probably was just a scene or two filled with sexual tension amongst the three vamps. And possibly a bloddy still-beating heart for Drusilla from Angelus. Cuz he always knew what to give a girl. For instance, lately, he was kind enough to have a son that he could provide to Cordelia for pity sex. That Angel, always thinking ahead.

 

Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.

 

Drusilla, I seem to recall, goes all loopy, as she was wont to do, and has a vision or something. She ends up at the magic shop of the BBS, bearing a puppy that she named Sunshine (possibly Dru has a sense of irony under that psychotic exterior) and brought to Spike as a snack, but then apparently decided to keep as a pet for a while, and extorts from him that the evil gypsy was in there earlier buying an orb of Thessela. I suppose that warrants some comment. The evil gypsy (hereby referred to as TEG) told the BBS that her Uncle Enyos told her about him. The BBS knew Enyos by name. When did he tell TEG about it? In their not-so-frequent correspondence? So…what? He lived in Sunnydale? And no one noticed him skulking around? Not even in that hat? I'm so confused. Bah.

 

[And here, of course, Dru kills the poor, poor BBS. The innocent, sweet BBS guy, who never harmed anyone. Always was there with a smile and a Thesselan orb. And yet, a victim of crazy Dru. And possibly of Sunshine. The vampire puppy. SOB.]

 

TEG, it seems, has programmed a computer to translate her long ago untranslateable text. Uh huh. Anyway, she works late at the school, after insinuating to poor Giles that he was going to get some later, and just as she's printing off the spell and saving it to disk, she notices Angelus hanging out. Now, let's just take a moment, okay? You're a technopagan. You're part of a gypsy clan that cursed a supposedly seriously evil vampire. You are aware that this vampire has just lost his soul and isn't really jonesing for another one. You know that a school is a public place. You know that the supposedly evil vampire has a seriously looney sidekick who has psychic visions.

 

Now…if you, having all of the above to your credit, still decide to hang out after hours, at night, in the dark, the time when vampires can roam around all willy-nilly and do work on the school PC that you know is seriously going to piss off the supposedly really evil vampire, and not on your home PC where the vampire couldn't get at you and you could complete the spell in safety, you deserve what you get.

 

That's all I'm sayin'.

 

And what you get, as you all should know, is a broken neck. And then you get taken to your sort of boyfriend's house, where you get placed on his bed and the supposedly really evil vampire puts flower petals around the house and lights some candles.

 

I feel for Giles here. But, once again. You know how bad the bad guy is. You know he tends to go after all the friends and relatives of his obsession before the actual object of said affection. Find a spell to keep him out sooner, yes?

 

Oh God! I invited him in my car once. That means he can come into my car...whenever he wants!"

 

So Giles comes home, finds the body, looks sad. Buffy, who took care of locking Angelus out of her house first, is not there to comfort him because she's at home getting busted for sleeping with someone 20 times her age. She gets all sad when Giles calls to tell her, Willow freaks out and I snort. How many deaths have I seen? And how many of the Scoobs actually liked TEG? But, still. It's real sad and all.

 

Cordy, Xand, Buff and Will go to Giles to intrude upon his personal, sad space. He's not there, of course, because he's gone to kill Angelus. He knew where they were the whole time, see. And it's really good they didn't saddle up sooner with an actual plan in, say, daylight, and take care of them all in one fell swoop, thereby saving us from season three of B/A angst, Angel seasons three and four, the neutered Spike of seasons four and five, and the B/S sexathon of season six. Everyone would've won, folks, if only they'd used their heads.

 

Buffy goes to save Giles, who would've died because he seems to have learned to fight from Buffy herself (meaning he cripples his opponent, then hesitates long enough for the opponent to regain his wind). Buffy stupidly lets Angelus get away for no logical reason, drags Giles outside and then there's some crying.

 

And we end with a voice over on passion again, Buffy says she's ready to kill Angelus now, while Giles and Buffy stand at TEG grave, looking real upset. Poor, poor, never got any Giles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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