beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah
She feels real bad. Honest. The little schlampe.
He broods, therefore he is.
lock the door, kiddies.
season three > Lover's Walk
Let’s catch up, since we're big slackers and
it's taking us a month between reviews: Buffy and Angel are not
together but want to
be together but can’t be together because Buffy drives him to evil.
like my brother and his wife, but with a whole being dead and cursed
thing as an excuse.
still with Cordy but also with Willow because he’s living the American
teenager's dream, and he’s living it well. Willow, unlike Xander, is
with guilt, and she should be because she’s cheating on the sweetest
yet she is still hanging off of Xander’s lips the second the sweetest
the world turns his back. Oz and Cordy remain oblivious for roughly…45
minutes. Giles is being Giles. This episode he's around for about 5
seconds before he heads off on a retreat where, I would hazard to
guess, he reads and plays with his
lot. He likes to do that. I'm sure he even got in some
cross-referencing. And I suppose Dawn, since she’s supposedly around
now and stuff, is probably
around and shrieking about how things are not fair.
Spike's back. Spike rolled into town, see, to moon over his lost love,
Dru. And everyone who's anyone knows the best place to spend your time
brooding over amour is Sunnydale, CA, USA. So he moons over the burned
out remnants of their love factory of evil and then he broods his way
to the mansion where he finds Angel brooding over a book and then he
passes out. Because he's stinking drunk. The next day, and we are
talking day here, good thing he has a car with windows painted black,
he skips on over to the magic shop to find a spell that will make
Angel's parts fall off or cover him in boils or do anything that might
generally cause him to have a bad couple of days. All logic in this
scenario aside, he
Willow come in to buy stuff for the de-lusting spell, decides that’d be
to go, eats the shopkeeper and goes after the little witch to wine her
and dine her the Spike way until she does a spell
to win the loopy Dru back
from a chaos demon. And to Spike, kidnapping someone, knocking out
their secret boyfriend with something heavy that may or may not have
been a toaster, threatening to kill them and locking them in a factory
while he goes out to get supplies is the equivalent of a good wine and
dine. At least it was back when he was cool. Nowadays it's probably
something like actually taking someone to a fancy French restaraunt and
saying "please", the nancy-boy.
Buffy, meanwhile, ran all the way home from school, where she was busy jump roping as a silent protest to her friends having dates without her, when she got a harassing phone call from Joyce (Joyce is a little hopped up on crack after finding out Buffy got good SAT scores and keeps haranguing her to go to college.) and freaked out after hearing Spike's voice on the phone. She finds Spike in her kitchen, having the aforementioned hot chocolate with Joyce (sans marshmallows), taunting Angel at the kitchen door (Angel having showed up in the hopes that he and Buffy could moodily brood together). Buffy threatens to kill Spike with a wooden spoon, like she would ever actually stake a bad bad guy, and he plays his “I’ve got Willow and Xander and I’ll kill them, I really will” card. He pretends he doesn’t have them at the factory and Buffy pretends to believe him because she secretly wants to hang out with him. Since she secretly not-loves him. Broody boy tags along, just to bother me.
The merry trio skip down the yellow brick
road to the
magic shop, because Spike won’t let Buffy have her friends back until
helps his sorry, drunk ass win back Dru. After breaking into the Magic
gang gets into a contrived fight because this show needs to have a
episode. This week, the mayor, bless his oft-sold soul, decided that
too much of a pain in the ass and might get in the way of whatever it
was doing, I sort of forget, and sends his mooks out to stake him. So
fight. Blah blah blah, the good guys win and Spike realizes that all he
was a good fight and he doesn’t need a love spell after all and he will
drive back on down to South America and tie his lady love up until she
love with him again via torture. He also gives some speech about how
love’s bitch, but he admits it and basically just calls Buffy and Angel
of pussies for pretending to be friends. He then glibly tells them to
something or other and that their friends are at the factory. And then
just lets him walk out. Because she’s cool like dat.
She is okay, in case you were worried. She's
jacked up and in the hospital, but she's fine. For a few more years
anyway, and then she ascends and descends and sleeps with Angel's son
and gets possessed and then ends up in a coma and probably wishes that
little bar had done her in, but in the Buffyverse there is no such
luck. Also, Buffy dumps Angel, again, even though they were never
really dating. Really.
gets sad about this and if you really pay attention you can
subtly see David register his character’s growing ache and need
and--who am I
kidding. Angel sits there, same as usual. You can almost feel his pain,
can't you? It's darn near palbable. Either that, or he's hungry. It's
hard to tell with this character.
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