the nightmare begins anew.
Angel 5.4: Hellbound
Previously on Angel: It sucked.
This week on Angel: More of the suck.
Oh, put your martyr away, Mahatma.
suckage begins this week when Fred and Spike are talking in her
laboratory about recorporealizing Spike. So right from the beginning.
Spike falls through her worktable, through the floor he was just
incorporeally standing on, through many more floors of W&H and
lands, hard, on the basement floor. Right. Hard. His not-corporeal ass
slammed to the floor. It is good to see that continuity continues to
not be a strong suit.
While down there and seemingly as confused in this basement as he was
in Sunnydale High’s basement, minus the crazy talk and bad hair, he
runs into someone sitting at a desk. This person can’t help him find
his way out of the basement as he is busy cutting off his own fingers.
I’m not sure why Spike can’t just levitate his see through ass back up
to the lab, but I didn’t really understand a whole lot of this episode,
so this is the least of my worries.
Basically, spooky shit happens and Spike sees dead people. These
attention seeking ghoulish ghosts do things like pull glass shards out
of their eye sockets and slash Spike with said shards, ask him to hold
him when they have no arms and just sort of generally taunt him about
hell. Only Spike can see the ghosties, and he starts to get a bit bent
about the whole hell angle, so he goes to Angel for comfort. Solace of
the manly kind, not solace of the being bent over the couch kind.
Either way, Angel’s not very solaceful, but it is a rather nice scene
where they bitch to each other about the past and then Angel gets all
bleak and informs Spike that it doesn’t matter, everything they did and
everything they do to make up for it? Doesn’t matter. They’re going to
hell. Which was a nice moment, and I’m not being snarky there. I feel I
should be genuinely nice about this scene, and pretty much the only one
worth watching. Sadly it didn’t last long enough. Right after Angel
confesses to liking Spike’s craptastic poems, Spike starts to go nuts
because he sees a ghost doing things he doesn’t like, but Angel can’t
see it and the gang thinks that Spike’s gone nutters because their
handy-dandy seers can’t find anything. They say there are no ghosties.
But Spike says there are. And then he disappears.
Nothing's written in stone or fated to happen, Spike.
You save the world, you end up running an evil law firm.
but he doesn’t! He’s still there, they just can’t see him! And neither
can the seers! Why? No really reason. At least not a well-explained
one. Seems there’s a ghost there called the Reaper who made some pact
or other with hell to, I don’t know, torture the people who sluff off
this mortal coil while at W&H. Which is meant to explain why there
are no ghosts around the place, not that I ever wondered, and why the
Reaper has the power he does. Not that it does, but it’s supposed to.
As far as I could tell, and feel free to correct me, the Reaper made
the ghosts disappear from the radar and made them hang about, torturing
themselves. Or maybe he was keeping them from peace? Or maybe he only
brought out his best ghouls, like the young lady without the arms, to
taunt the newbies? Maybe. Or maybe it just wasn’t very well explained.
Or, you know, I spaced out again.
Anyway, the gang scrambles to find out what’s the what while Spike gets
haunted. The gang holds a séance with a really sassy psychic
that unfortunately gets killed by the Reaper, so that doesn’t work out
too well. Fred does whatever it is she does in her lab and eventually
pieces together a big recorporealizing thing. That will, of course,
only work once. Natch.
The Reaper spends some quality time torturing and stripping Spike in
the basement, until Spike decides he’s bored and uses his massive
mental powers to put his clothes back on. Fred flips the on switch and
draws the two ghosts to the machine. The Reaper, a plucky lad who used
some black magic mojo to keep his ass out of hell, beats Spike there
and decides to kill Fred. I voice no objections. Unfortunately, Spike
gets there just in time to stop the Reaper from choking and killing
Fred, damn the luck, and tosses the Reaper into the recorporealizer so
he can’t haunt the people haunting W&H anymore. Angel straps him to
a wall and locks him in a room in the basement, with a tiny hole so he
can see the stunning view of the hallway. It’s not really explained why
they feel he will live forever like this and I can only assume that
recorporealizing something does not mean bringing it back to life so
he’s just a solid ghost, but then if that’s so why would you worry
about killing him if he’s already dead and then I find myself wondering
if they’re going to feed him with a long spoon through the hole, but it
doesn’t matter. What matters is that the Reaper taught Spike a valuable
lesson—if he wants it enough, he can move a coffee cup. That’s some
Welcome to hell.
Look ma! I did it! I did it!
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