beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah
season seven > get it done
Shadowcaster Puppets of Doom!
Actually, this episode is called Get it Done but that's sorta boring and anyway, I have no idea where they got that title so I'm discounting it entirely. You can use the acronym SPoD if you find that's easier to remember.
Longest previouslies ever. A montage of Scenes Throughout the Season That Annoyed SP. Woo!
We open to Buffy wandering around campground central in her sassy Juicy Couture sweats. For a girl with big-time money problems and a floor full of mouths to feed, she sure seems to have spare change for a trendy wardrobe. Well, you'd think those sweats are trendy, only I wore mine out the other night to a frickin' sports bar: a definite non-trendy, non-velvet rope, not-hot night spot, and they wouldn't let me in because I wasn't wearing proper attire. So, Buffy should avoid Jillian's unless she wants to be really annoyed after an already really annoying day. Although possibly she'd get so annoyed she'd kick the Jillian's anti-Juicy Couture guy's ass, which I would wholeheartedly endorse.
Anyway, possibly just my issue, so moving on.
Piles of SiTs are stacked up, sleeping all over the house. Buffy finds who she thinks is possibly Chloe crying in a corner. Chloe's probably crying because everyone forgot about her and left her locked in a closet the other day and now Buffy doesn't even remember her name. She was with the very first group to arrive, Buffy. There were only like four girls. How hard would it have been to learn her name? Before Chloe can tell Buffy that she's crying tears of happiness for finally being let out of the closet, the First Slayer attacks Buffy and pushes her down the stairs. I'm sure ST would like me to point out that ME have used a different actress for the First Slayer (as they did with Nikki). What else was the original First Slayer actress doing that she couldn't make time for a two second attack?
[Okay, look, you have your Jillian's issues, which I share, and I have this. I mean, come on. This is the show that used to have consistent people in the background. Let's give a little effort, mmkay. Plus, the new actresses face structure is completely different. It's jarring. Took me entirely out of the two second scene. Totally. -ST]
Buffy wakes up all freaked. But hey, it was only a dream! Chloe's OK! Surely Buffy's dream didn't mean anything. It's not like her dreams are ever prophetic. [To be fair, it's not like Chloe was hanging from the ceiling when she was sobbing. Maybe Buffy just thought she was having a premonition about Chloe having wicked bad PMS. That's something I'd love to have a premonition for. You've got to prepare for that shit, dammit.]
Ah, the credits. There's Nick Brendon. The only time we get to see him anymore.
Next we see that Anya and Spike are hanging. I don't know if this is at the same time the First Slayer comes to visit, or a different night or what. What I do know is that Anya's sporting some fairly bad hair. Keep the good hair Anya! We've seen it! We know it's there! She blathers on about how she's smart and has had a good education. What, is she talking about the month or so she spent at Sunnydale high before it got all blowed up? Or possibly she went to night school while she was raising bunnies and making Olaf dinner? [I believe she was referring to that time she went to Yale and earned her masters in business between eviscerations. You've gotta give the girl props, bad hair or no. It's not easy working your way through college.]
So, Anya's whining as usual and while Spike can commiserate with her displeasure at being all humany and stuck with those hella irritating SiTs, he's got a plan: "get up, get out, get drunk. Repeat as needed." His plan is exactly like mine! Only mine is to get away from hella irritating coworkers.
Anya's thinking that maybe they can relive the night of sex, tequila, and videotape, only possibly without the videotape part. I guess Spike's soul has made him immune to the draw of hot sex on a table, and that seems like a pretty big drawback. I hope the scary demon guy who gave it to him warned him of that side effect.
A demon comes out of nowhere and attacks Anya. It's another D'Hoffryn minion. Those guys are pretty inefficient. We've haven't seen one since Him. Maybe they've got a "if we attack her randomly and after long intervals, she won't be as alert" plan.
Spike knocks the demon out, but doesn't go for the kill. Maybe he's losing his taste for the killing, or maybe he figures the guy might come in the handy the next time Anya starts whining. You make the call. [and I'd like to point out that he doesn't even actually knock him out, he kicks the demon in the balls. And it sort of doubles over in pleasure/pain. It's a good thing demons balls are in the same place as human's balls, or that could have been pretty embarrassing.]
The next day, Wood and Buffy are counseling (read: boring to death) some boys who were caught fighting. Wood is all "it's starting isn't it?" Because some high school kids are fighting? That guy really doesn't get out much, does he? What's important in this scene is that Wood is wearing a pink dress shirt. And a dark pink tie. Dude, we said you were pretty in last week's recap, but we didn't mean for you to go Pretty in Pink on us. Seriously.
Buffy gets all meta. Oh yeah, the hellmouth gets angsty a couple of times a year, just in time for sweeps. It really heats up in May, because you know, we have to end the season with something good. Wood realizes this is bigger than him. And Buffy's all, well yeah, we normally like to involve all the regular characters in the big fights, and you're not even in the credits!
Wood gives Buffy a bag that belonged to his mother. A bag that was supposed to be passed down from slayer to slayer. But Wood just couldn't part with it when she died. You know, back when he was four. Buffy's all, "no no, I couldn't take it" when what she really should say is, you stole this from the slayers who came after your mom? You probably helped get them killed and put the world in jeopardy! Dumbass.
Wood wants to go scope out campground central, because he wants to check out Spike, only he doesn't tell Buffy that last part.
They arrive to Andrew fretting about his funnel cake. Buffy introduces him as their hostage (a hostage with oven mitts!) and good lord what the hell is Buffy wearing? Leftover rags as a skirt? Andrew thinks of himself as a guestage. Who bakes! Andrew shows them his big white board and they let their hostage run out to Office Depot? Alrighty then. [They let their hostage bake? After running out to Office Depot? There could be glitter glue in that thar bunt cake! Don't eat the bunt cake! This is seriously as offensive as them not instituting a daily groping policy, which I still think they could do. Let Xander supervise. Give the guy some thrills and something to do, all at the same time! It'd be a fabulous new plot twist! Much more fabulous than Kennedy all of a sudden being a regular!]
They head to the backyard to find Kennedy drilling the SiTs. How did Kennedy become boss anyway? Is that why she was hitting on Willow? She figured she could sleep her way to the top? She calls Chloe a maggot, which is truly supportive, I think. She heads over to be rude to Wood and can I just mention the random, dying plants on the porch? Looks like my house! And I don't have the excuse that I'm too busy preparing to fight the really big original evil to water them!
Willow comes out with armfuls of weapons, figures it's her turn to make with the meta, and makes up some Bring it On cheerleading story as cover for the girls. Um, yeah. Do Willow and Buffy not ever talk at all? Did Buffy not mention about how Wood is a bad-ass vampire fighter too with the whole slayer mom?
Wood tells Willow he's heard she's been experimenting? And what the hell? Experimenting? With not being evil when she practices magic? I realize this is leading up to the Big Buffy Speech of the Week where she yells at everyone for not using their power (because it's all about power, you know) and I realize Wood used the term "experimenting" so it would be all funny with everyone thinking he meant about her being gay, but sheesh.
Buffy starts whining about how the brains of the operation wears oven mitts. Since when did Andrew move from hostage/guestage to the brains of the operation? When he got the brilliant idea for that big board?
Anya and Spike are fighting in the basement. Anya's mad Spike didn't kill the demon, since he won't stop coming 'til he kills her. Yeah, in random, longish intervals. I think you have time Anya. Also, she's changed her hair again, and it looks a lot better, but she's lost ground with that sweater. I don't even think I can describe it. Have we found out the new costume designer's name yet? Because she truly is walking in Cynthia's footsteps. I barely know she's gone.
See, Spike's not using his power either. In case you weren't clear on the theme. (The secondary theme being "funnel cakes can kick your ass if you don't watch them every minute.")
Wood gets all moody with Spike (see, Spike killed his mom! And Wood's been searching for her killer for years! So he can kill the killer back!). Spike gets moody with Buffy for telling everyone he has a soul. Actually, I think he'd want her to spread that news around as to keep someone from accidentally deciding to stake him for oh, I dunno, being a vampire.
Later, Dawn reports to Buffy as to the contents of the missing slayer emergency kit. Because it's not like Buffy - the slayer - would be interested in checking it out for herself or anything. Because she's busy making the beds! Fortunately, Dawn speaks Sumerian now! So, she can read all the cool old books in the kit!
Buffy heads to the bathroom, to fold towels or something, and she walks in on Chloe all dead. She hanged herself with a sheet before Buffy had a chance to fold it and put it away. Dammit. See, my theory is that the writers knew about this scene when they wrote Potential, and so they forgot that this episode had not yet aired, and thus Chloe had not yet died. Hence leaving her out of that episode entirely. Just a theory.
Chloe-slash-the-First pops up and starts trying to talk them to death (apparently it worked with Chloe!). Buffy tells the SiTs not to listen; it's the First! In case they couldn't figure that out for themselves.
Kennedy gets mad because Buffy's talking to them all condescending and mean-like. Because Kennedy calling Chloe maggot was so much better. [Why is she everywhere? I don't care if she's making out with Willow. I don't care if she's an overzealous wanna-be Slayer. I don't care if her attitude is just because she's upper excited and likes to boss people around. I also don't like that she had the most power in the room, but that is a rant for later. But still. Why is she there? And why is she always there?]
Buffy starts yapping at everyone to start using their power. Because Power, Who's Got It, How They Use It is the Theme of the Season! Anya, in the same ugly sweater, but new and improved ugly hair mentions that she's not really Buffy's friend. That she's just there for all the free hair braiding. And then it's Anya's turn on the meta train as she reminds us that she's stolen Xander's role of providing sarcastic wit. Damn you Anya!
Also, Buffy's still wearing the ugly rag skirt, although she's changed her shirt for some reason. Maybe her earlier shirt wasn't really good for the grave digging.
[It's nice to see the writers allowing Anya to express that even they don't know why she's still there. And that she's not Buffy's friend. Which is a complete turnaround from the "I don't want my friends out there" sentiment expressed in Him, but whatever. Consistency is nothing but a pipe dream, my friends, and the tooth fairy isn't real.]
Buffy decides she wants the old Spike back. From what I recall, the old Spike tried to kill her a lot. And managed to kill a couple of other slayers. Including Wood's mom, in case you didn't know. And were he back, he'd probably kill every last one of the SiTs. So, while Buffy might want to think twice about what she wishes for, I wouldn't mind seeing him about now.
So, they break out the box from Wood's slayer kit, and somehow Wood is suddenly there. And although Buffy tells all the SiTs to go upstairs, apparently that doesn't include Kennedy. See? She knows who to sleep with. And can I just say that Kennedy and Willow have zero chemistry? Just had to get that out. Thanks. [Send her little ass upstairs. My god. She researches now. She runs drills. It really pays to be an actress who's willing to kiss a chick on this show, doesn't it? You get more plot than the people who've been hanging out for seven years. And where the hell is Giles? Can we give up Kennedy if we get Giles back? And I mean the real Giles, not the strange pseudo Giles that's been running around ever since he got off the horse.]
Turns out the box contains puppets! Xander starts going on about how the First is probably scared of muppets (and Willow seems quite perturbed that he gets puppets and muppets confused) and I gotta say, I'm right there with ya, the First. Muppets are just creepy. Buffy doesn't mention about how puppets give her the wig. Maybe that's only wooden puppets. [Because Buffy is too busy practicing being severely bitchy. She's leaning on the wall. It's time consuming. It leaves no time for quips or season one quotes. Besides, they had to save all those up for the next episode.]
Dawn breaks out her sudden and inexplicable Sumerian translation skills and reads that you can't just watch, you have to see. And why does she have a big D embroidered on her shirt? Is she Laverne and/or Shirley now? She tells them it's the story of the first slayer, and Buffy's all, oh yeah, we hang in my dreams all the time! Remember guys? The cheese guy? The first slayer? Good times.
Dawn tells the story that men made the first slayer to fight all the demons. So why the hell is she called a vampire slayer instead of a demon slayer then? Buffy pops into some dimensional portal and maybe she should rethink those high heel pointy boots before she goes gallivanting off into another dimension.
In comes a demon and isn't that like Buffy, acting before she thinks about how it might affect everyone else. Willow, all powerful wicca, can't seem to summon up a spell to stop it, everyone else flails about, except Dawn who seems to have picked up fighting skills along with her Sumerian, and Spike gets thrown through the ceiling. Everyone decides the best plan of action is to get Buffy back right away. Erm, didn't she go off of her own free will? Wouldn't she be a big irked if you brought her back right away before she could do the whole "seeing" thing?
[Wait, we're not done with this scene yet! Because it's time for another installment of ST hates Kennedy! What the hell is she doing sassing Spike? Asking him what he's going to do? What he's going to do? She's a 19 year old mortal who can shoot a crossbow and summered in the Hamptons. Who just got tossed across the room like a ragdoll. Ooooooh, powerful. He's a hundred year old vampire who can suck her haughty little stupid ass dry. Do it, Spike! DO IT! Do it for me! And puppies! And little children!]
Buffy heads out to Riverside, I mean, the big vast desert where she hung out with the cheese guy last time. I bet she's wishing she wasn't wearing shoes that sink in the sand like that.
Kennedy tells Willow to use lots and lots of magic, since after all, it's not like she was around for the whole end of the world thing, and she's not very good at listening when people tell her it was badness. Wood doesn't want Buffy to stay lost, but dude, she jumped in willingly remember? I don't know that lost is exactly the right word. More like not lost at all.
Willow decides what they really need is physics. Because physics make life more fun! Everyone starts whining about how they need Buffy back so she can help kill the demon and then in the very same breath, they decide they need to kill the demon and send it back so they can get back Buffy. Apparently it made sense to the writers. [Much like Xander text messaging Willow while tied all splayed out on a big wheel last week made sense to the writers. Because they are on drugs, kiddies. Big, bad, really scary drugs. So don't do drugs kids. Because if this isn't proof that it impairs your judgment and kills brain cells, I don't know what is.]
Spike recovers from the whole being thrown through the ceiling thing and volunteers to try and summon up the old Spike enough to go get the demon. But first he needs Wood's mommy's jacket. Obviously. Where would the angst and tension be without it? (And I guess here's as good as any place to note that while Buffy seemed to discover Chloe in the morning, everything else seems to be happening in the middle of the night. It's like they skipped the daytime portion of the program as so everything would be more sinister and vampire-friendly. Spike can't look all big and bad when he storms off if he just burns to a crisp seconds later.)
Buffy meets up with the guys who made the first slayer. They play musical chairs and tell her she's the last slayer. They can't give her knowledge, only power. Back at the ranch, Willow also has no knowledge, but decides to ramp up on the power, because what the hell.
The guys with the staffs decide to give Buffy more power in the form of a black swirly demon heart. She politely declines, although to be honest, I really don't know why. It's just more of what she's already got, it'll help her in the big fight, and Cordy didn't have a problem being part demon. What, Buffy thinks she's better than Cordy or something?
Spike heads down to the school basement to get the jacket, and now suddenly, Wood's hanging out there! I realize it's all dramatic for Spike to tell him he got the coat in New York, but is Wood teleporting or something? Because I thought that really wasn't done.
Black-eyed [and let's not forget black haired. Because it turned dark again. Oh yes it did. Because we just can't let that go, can we.] Willow sucks the power from Anya and Kennedy (Xander's nearby, but Willow doesn't really go for the guys, you know) and opens the portal. Leather jacket-clad Spike gets all giddy at the demon killing and lights up a cigarette. I think that means we're supposed to think he's all evil again. [And that killing's good for the soul. Oh oh oh! Does this mean he'll go evil again? That Buffy'll get her wish? Because Spike's so whipped that he gives Buffy whatever she wants, so he'll go all evil and try to kill her again? Cuz that'd be cool.]
So while Willow and Spike grab some extra power and go all evil, Buffy refuses the power, breaks the staff, and coincidentally, it's just in time for Spike to throw the demon into the portal. Nice how that all works out. [I will say that while this is one of the stupidest things ever, plot wise, it was very nicely shot. The Shadow caster moment was nicely done, too, if you ignore Dawn being all super translator girl. SMG looked fantastic. The lighting was great. Everything was great. Except the script. Oh, yeah. That.]
Kennedy decides she's not sure about the whole dating a powerful wicca thing. Buffy thanks Willow for bringing her back, again, although I don't recall her being so grateful the last time.
Turns out, the scary shadow guys showed Buffy a sea full of the ubervamps, all icky and ready to kill everyone. Bummer. Looks like she could have used the black demon heart dust after all.
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