beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Minority Report

 

 

Sunnydale.  

Demon hotspot.

Small town of 1 starbucks, 2 universities, 1 high school (that we know of for sure; earlier seasons of Buffy hinted at nearby private schools, and in the season seven premiere, Buffy mentioned not being able to move so she could change districts and enable Dawn to go to a different high school, so possibly there are more), various docks, a miniature golf-course (despite Xander's comments to the contrary) 1 Bronze and 1 espresso pump.

And the only completely white town in California.

That's right. Not to shock you or anything, but Sunnydale has not exactly, to quote Mr. Trick, been a haven for the brothers.  And for this exact reason we worry for Carlos and Principal Wood, the newest denizens of Sunnydale High.  Given Sunnydale's track record, these two can't have long to live.  They're toast.  Vampire snacks.  Deader than d-e-d. Or, at the very least, evil. Think we're wrong? Let's take a look at the facts, shall we?

 

Kendra

Our very first visitor of non-direct-European descent arrived on the scene full of spitfire and formalities.   Not to mention an accent that still makes us giggle.  After saving Buffy's ass, she was promptly deported back to wherever it was she came from, only to come back half a season later to save Buffy's ass some more.  She was, shockingly enough, rewarded for this behavior with death.

Mr. Trick

Originally moving to Sunnydale to be the Big Bad, he was soon playing second, third and eventually fourth fiddle to the whacky mayor.  He was then promptly dispatched of at the docks by one Faith, the psycho vampire slayer, after having to utter the humiliating line "I hear once you've tasted a Slayer, you never wanna go back."

Forrest

Riley's best friend in and out of the Initiative, Forrest was bitter.  He loved Riley, and damned if Buffy wasn't standing in his way.  Nothing if not confrontational, he soon tried to prove his worthiness by getting killed by Adam.  Joss, not content to just kill him once, had him come back as one of the stupid zombies and got him killed again.  By his white best friend.  Yeah….

And now we have two new, unsuspecting victims.

Carlos

The first Hispanic to enter Sunnydale High, it seems.  He likes basketball, hanging in the basement smoking, and running like a girl (which we assume means quickly and full of grace.) Considering all these strikes against him, Carlos cannot be long for this world.  RIP Carlos.

 

Robin Hood

The new, sassy principal of Sunnydale High, he claims to know the history and the files of his students.  His office is also over the Hellmouth. Well now, that can't be good, can it? Add to that the fact that he seems to be macking on the Slayer, and it all adds up to one of two things: evil or dead.

Poor, poor Mr. Hood.  If he knows Buffy as well as he says he does, he should know that his pulse automatically disqualifies him for any nookie.  

We here at boils and blinding torment looked this article over and thought it needed to just be a little longer. And then we realized we couldn't make it longer, because we couldn't think of any other non-white characters who have been featured prominently on Buffy. With targets on their heads or not. I mean, maybe Jenny Calendar counts, being a gypsy and all, but we all know how she ended up.

 

Tell us what you think in the discussion forums.

 

10.01.02