beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah
Fangirl's November 2002 site of the month
Hellmouth Central January 2003 pick
Promise of Dusk's October 2003 site of the month
Cranky Slayer's November 2003 cap frapper
So, you're asking yourself, what the hell is up with this site? Where am I? Who are these people? And if you haven't actually read anything on our site, but just noticed the url, you might be asking why we're spending so much time on a show we hate. Here, in an exclusive interview with ourselves, we answer all of your questions. OK, maybe not that one about the new cropped pants look for guys.
What is this site about?
This site is about Buffy. The vampire slayer. It's a TV show. It's about a girl. Who slays vampires. Except when she's sleeping with them. Which we think would be cold.
How long has this site been around anyway? Where's all the content?
This site launched August 2002. Each week, we'll be adding new recaps and features. If we added it all at once, you'd have nothing to look forward to. One day, we may even have our bios here. Until then, bitch about us on the message board. Or make up some bios for us so that we don't have to.
Aren't you just copying another site that's already out there? How lame!
Well, we started writing recaps for a site that sadly, no longer exists on the Internet, before we had ever heard of that Other Recap Site (aka ORS). And we've been waiting for the opportunity to spread our wisdom around the world ever since. So, no, we're not really copying that other site. If anything, we're copying the site we used to write for.
And anyway, if there was only one kind of each site on the Internet, you'd be surfing all of about three sites. In any case, this is more than a recap site. We have all kinds of features and focus solely on Buffy. The recaps are just one part.
But you know what I think sets our recaps apart from those on the more reputable sites? Lack of content. Those other sites feel the need to recap the entire episode, scene by scene. We just sort of randomly talk about what's funny, or what pissed us off, or what was painful. We recap what we want, really. Not necessarily the whole episode. So, you get to skip the boring parts!
I have to wonder: why are these people bothering to watch Buffy at all if they dislike it so much?
Haven't read much of the site, have you? Obviously, we love this little show with the blonde girl with the pointy stick. We've seen every episode three thousand times. But sometimes, the show brings us pain. The wires holding up the snake in Reptile Boy; the way Willow turned into Sabrina the teenage witch. We could either let our pain fill our hearts and turn us against the show we love most, or we could use the pain for further entertainment. Embrace the pain. Make the pain our joy.
Or, if you have a lot of time on your hands and are looking for the long version, here's why I came up with the idea for the site:
I love Buffy. I think the writing and acting are fantastic. I particularly like the character development, dialogue, interactions, nuances, subtleties.
But let's face it. Parts of the show are pure cheese. They always have been. A giant preying mantis woman? A 500-year old mummy? A mayor turning into a big honkin' snake? That talks?
ME weren't taking themselves seriously when they were storyboarding those ideas, so why should we? Why not have a little fun? I came up with the idea for this site because most of the Buffy fan sites I saw out there were so frickin' serious. No, no offense to those sites, because they're great, but I wanted to do something a little less reverent, in the spirit of the cheesiness of a great Buffy episode.
Now, since we got hooked on the show because of the brilliant writing, then I certainly am going to go all out and mock when I see less-than-brilliant writing. Because I know ME can do better than that. And when mocking (what I perceive as) less-than-stellar episodes, or the fake-looking snakes, or the horrid outfits, I really am embracing the pain. Rather than letting all that distract me from what I see as the greatness in the episodes, I'm just adding it to my overall entertainment. And I'm hoping this site will do the same for others.
The recaps aren't meant to be blow-by-blow episode descriptions. There are all kinds of sites on the internet that already offer that. I mean, heck, you can read the scripts or transcripts if you want to read the episode. The recaps are meant to be funny. They are meant to celebrate the cheese, mock the cring-worthy moments. We embrace the pain; we don't let it turn us away from the show.
But really. A fear demon that is two inches tall? They're mocking themselves. We're just joining in.
Where are the rest of the recaps?
Have you tried looking under the sofa in hell? Weren't there? Damn. Well, we have descriptions of every episode up, so if you're trying to figure out which was the one where Anya was fantasizing about doubling her pleasure, doubling her fun, with two Xanders, just scroll the episode lists. As for recaps, we're adding them every week. We'd post 'em quicker, but we have to wait for inspiration to strike.
Who writes this stuff?
Searing Pain and Suck This tend to write collaboratively. All of the content on the site is ours. We may occasionally have guest writers. We'll always give full credit to any guests who write for the site.
I want to tell you how horrific fantastic you are. How can I reach you?
Well, the easiest way is to pop over to the discussion forums. You can view all discussions, and you don't have to be registered to post in The Site section.
Some people actually didn't think season 6 was the televisual equivalent of a car crash. I liked season 6, and I don't mind bitching. I'd just like to hear some new bitching, instead of the tired old riley/dawn/angel/blah bitching.
we sigh heavily and say to you: Go away. Before we mock you with our monkey pants and uzis. Seriously. If you don't get it, we can't help you. We explained, we did. We didn't use to be this way. There once was a time when TV sucked, we turned it off. Now, thanks to our sick addiction to this show, we're shells of what we once were. It's become the gateway to horrible TV-I watched ROSWELL for ALL THREE SEASONS, for fuck's sake. Would a normal person do that? Hell no. And who's to blame? That's right, Joss. Joss Whedon. He wormed his way in with an intelligent if poorly clothed show and held my interest until it was too late to leave. My mind, weakened by the constant assaults of poorly plotted fight scenes, men who clearly needed to find their shirts and put them back on and episodes that went places they shouldn't, cracked. I could no longer distinguish between what was good and what was wrong. ROSWELL, people! ROSWELL! [Um, I can still distinguish. You never saw me watching Roswell. Very often. That Roswell thing was all your odd obsession. I don't have any of those odd obsession things. Stop laughing. -SP]
If I'm bitter, those of you that watched Roswell will understand. It's all Joss' fault. Now go away and let us mock. It helps the pain. And, if but for a few moments, makes the voices go away.
Also, we warned you. Well, on the message board FAQ we warned you. There will be NO support of Season Six. NONE! None... well, virtually no support for season six. There are a few good things. The execution of Once More With Feeling, for example (please note, this does not include the hole-filled plot). And maybe a scene or two, likes Giles's entrance at the end of Two to Go [One of the best TV moments ever. - SP] Other than that, how can you defend NAKED Spike? Invisible Buffy? Absentee Giles? Anya's bridesmaid dresses? Willow the crack whore? Please, think about what you're doing. Don't make us remind you again. [I was about to chime in with more season six love, but OK, those things, no, I can't support. Fully mockage is required. - SP]
And as for the tired old bitching? Well we bitch about everything, so if there's new bitching to have, we'll surely have it. We may not bitch about Dawn much, 'cause we kinda like her. [let's not go so far as to say "like." I like the actress. Adore her. She's Nona, how could I not? However, as far as the character, she's a bit of dead weight. Just a bit. But, still, love that Trachtenburger - ST] We may bitch about things done to her character, since, well, that's what we do. And, well, since they really haven't made anything of her character anyway, they make us do it!
Why do you hate B/A shippers/Spike/Riley/Buffy fans/my favorite character/ship/me?
We don't! We love them all! We are equal-opportunity mockers. If we mock you or your favorite character, remember that we do it out of love. Except for maybe Riley. Marc Blucas is hot, but Riley was pretty boring. Also Adam.
But who are you?
Suck This is a smart-ass, and she likes herself that way. Thanks for asking. Other than that, she is also apparently a masochist who tends to believe in fairies and someday hopes to have her dream job. What would that be? Can't say. That'd be telling. You can reach her at email@example.com.
Searing Pain has learned to embrace the bitterness in life. She has welcomed it. It has become part of her. And she's working on cultivating her inner geek. She has the propeller beanie to prove it. Direct all hate mail for her to firstname.lastname@example.org.
All text copyright boils and blinding torment 2002. If you want any of the graphics here, go for it. But please download them first. Do not link them directly. Don't plagarize or steal bandwidth. Because we will find you. We're computer geeks and very good at that kind of thing. And we, unlike the gypsies, are not out of boils or blinding torment.