|
season
one >
welcome
to the hellmouth
An introduction to our
heroine Buffy and to her wardrobe, which can best be described as 50's retro
"hello, I'm an enormous slut!" Micro mini skirts, knee high white boots, and beehive
hairdos. And don't forget that fantastic push-up bra. She couldn't wear
her PJs without it.
But before all that, we
get our first glimpse that Sunnydale isn't just a sleepy beach town as
a hot schoolgirl is lured into the empty school by a boy of questionable
intent. But before he can make his slimy moves, she stands up for herself
and drains him of all of his blood. Serves him right for thinking those
unpure thoughts. Wow, this show has a great heroine. She doesn't take
any crap from anybody. I can't wait to see what she does next! What? That
wasn't the heroine? Well, dammit.
After we meet Darla, a
minor character who gets dusted by the fourth episode, but who we find
out sired Angel, and who comes back later as a human, then a vampire,
and who carries Angel's child before dusting herself again so that her
child can live, we meet the crew who we'll soon grow to know and love,
er, hate, er, love. Something like that.
 Buffy
Blonde girl. Pointy stick.
Thinks John Tesh is the devil. Spends several madcap episodes hunting
him down and finally stakes him.
Thinks the show is all
about her. As if.
 Joyce
Buffy's supportive mother
("And
honey, try not to get kicked out.")
She doesn't know about
the vampire slaying... yet.
 Cordelia
Humble charitable student
among students ("If you hang with me and mine, you'll be accepted
in no time.")
 Willow
Computer smart girl nerd
(no really, that's what she is) with a really bad wardrobe. Enjoy it now
though, because one day, you'll miss those fuzzy sweaters and fun hats.
 Xander
He doesn't really have
a "thing." He's just a normal guy with no superpowers, who pines
away for Angel.
 Angel
Cryptic stealthy guy of
the few words. He shows up at random and makes no sense.
 Giles
Stuffy librarian from England.
He's Buffy's watcher, which isn't as creepy as it sounds. He comes from
the "Watcher's Council" which has been around forever to help
guide the "slayer", the one girl in all the world who does the
whole vamp dusting thing.
Also, there's Jesse, but
don't worry about remembering his name, because he becomes a vamp snack
in fairly short order. He's been friends with Xander and Willow since
they were babies, so they're sad for a minute or so. I guess they've read
the scripts for the later episodes and realize that if they boo hooed
over everybody who died, there wouldn't be much else going on. But anyway,
that's next episode I think, so forget I said anything. Feel the suspense.
Maybe Jesse will stick around as part of the crew and not end up like
one of those Star Trek crewmen in the red shirts who beamed down to the
planet with Kirk and Spock so you could worry which of the three would
be viciously killed and eaten by the reside life-form and which of them
would be seduced by the planet's beautiful women and be tormented with
wild and passionate sex. Anything's possible.
 So. Buffy
tries to settle in and be a normal girl but we soon find she's not. Get
used to this scenario; it'll be a theme. If you can't get into Buffy wanting
to be normal girl, yet not, you might run into some show enjoyment difficulties.
See, it's a metaphor. We
all want to fit in, and be normal, yet none of us feel... oh never mind.
Moving on. Buffy, despite
having been miss popularity at her old high school, forgets anything she
ever knew about spending time around other girls her age and doesn't understand
why Cordy, the prom queen (or so she hopes, but I'm moving way
ahead here), and Willow, the computer nerd, can't just get along. She
figures she'll be friends with everyone. That life in Sunnydale will be
everyone holding hands on a mountain top singing "I want to buy the
world a coke" or possibly singing some other song since she's probably
too young to remember that one.
Skipping ahead. Xander
thinks she's cute, yet odd for carrying a wooden stake, Willow is honored
that Buffy actually spoke to her, Cordy thinks she has potential with
the cool kids, and Buffy skips over to the innocent library to pick up
some school books. But the spooky stuffy librarian hands her a cup of
coffee, er, book on vampires. She rightfully is freaked at such a weirdo
and runs off.
But then, the slimy creepy
guy from the beginning falls dead out of a locker. And Buffy suddenly
is all interested. She sneaks in to go look at the body. And here is our
first clue that she's got a thing for the dead. You'll get the joke a
few episodes down the road, don't worry. She notices holes in the guy's
neck.
Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight.
It's like falling off a log.
Next thing ya know, she's
running back to the creepy librarian. Turns out (you're shocked, I know;
well, unless you read the title of the show) that she's a vampire slayer.
And not just any vampire slayer either. The
vampire slayer. The one girl in all the world with the strength and skill
to hunt the vampires, blah blah evil isn't just a happy dream.
Xander says cool -- delusional
girl. Maybe she'll be deluded into liking me.
| 
