beginning | blinding torment | boils | lies | making me bitter | evil compounds evil | blah blah bity blah


season five




Best. Season. Ever.

Or not. Angel's a moper, Spike's a ghost, Fred's annoying, Cordy's gone, Wesley's Wesley and Gunn's super smart.  Oh, yeah, and they all work for Wolfram & Hart. But there is there is that.













The gang moves into their new digs. And so we begin the fifth season, not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with a question: If you work for evil, does that make you evil? And does it matter, as long as you get a Knox-shaped lab assistant?


Oh, and Spike's back. Dammit.











Just Rewards

Spike's a ghost. A whiny, whipped, non-evil ghost. Sometimes, life just isn't fair.

Also, some man puts demons in dead people to help them pass as normal, every day annoying assholes, rather than demon-shaped annoying assholes. Angel, shockingly, decides he's not down with that.





There's a werewolf in town, and it's not a certain diminutive bass player we all know and love. No, it's a perky little blonde with a dead-guy fetish. Go figure.



Spike sees dead people, loses his shirt and moves a coffee cup. In that order.










Life of the Party

Lorne eschews sleep. Wacky shit happens.







The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco

Some Aztec demon dude lost his necklace. And fuck if he doesn't want it back.








The continuing saga of Wes and his daddy issues.


Also: Cyborg! Ninja! Assassins!







Destiny: what people like to blame when they're too lazy to fix shit. Also what Angel and Spike argue about for an entire hour. When they're not too busy whipping it out. Which, sadly, occupies quite a bit of their time this episode.














Harm's Way

See Harmony brush her teeth. See Harmony hog the microwave heating up blood for her boss. See Harmony get set up for murder by a jealous admin.








Soul Purpose

Angel's feeling confused and unsure and he's got that not-so-fresh feeling, so Eve decides it's the perfect time to lay a hallucinogenic parasite on him. Jsut to, you know, see what happens.








Remember when Buffy just sort of gave tons of girls super powers without consulting them first? And remember how she was going to travel the world in a yellow school bus to find them? Yeah, she missed one. Guess she forgot to check the insane asylum.

You're Welcome

Cordy and her amazing breasts stop in to say hi and, you know, help Angel find his way.






Why We Fight

Nazi!Spike. Pre-Initiative Initiative. Submarines. Oh my.








Smile Time

Angel gets turned into a puppet. Angel is not amused. Sadistic on-air mass murder of beloved children's puppets ensues.








A Hole in the World

Fred gets sick. Everybody loves Fred so everybody tries to fix Fred. Except for Knox. Knox is evil. Fred dies. Hope we didn't ruin anything for you there.







Everybody's sad that Fred's dead. Except for Illyria, a former bad-ass demon who walks around in Fred's shell, trying to recoup her bad-assness and her kingdom.









Evil? Yeah, it's everywhere. Oh, and hell? Totally on Earth.







The moppet's back. His adopted parents think something's whack with him, what with the super duper strength and all, and end up at W&H for advice. Angel is, once again, unamused.







Time Bomb

Turns out Fred's string bean body isn't quite strong enough to contain all of Illyria's massive power. Shocking.







The Girl in Question

So, like, there was this girl named Buffy, right? And she, like, had this thing for dead guys. And then she moved to Rome, leaving two very love-sick vampires behind, without, like, telling them which one she liked better. So, like, they totally couldn't live without knowing.

Look out Rome. Here they come.



Power Play

Angel pretends to be evil to get into the pants of some secret society. Unfortunately, he forgot to tell his friends. His friends don't like it when Angel turns evil. It makes them cranky.





Not Fade Away

Angel redefines the word "champion." Now, in the champion's handbook, rather than "super cool dude who saves the world a lot" it reads "dumbass who talks other dumbasses into a suicide mission to annoy really evil things a lot."